Soooo my ass decided to get up at 2:45am on a gorgeous summer day to take a hot air balloon ride over Luxor, Egypt....
This is how the morning rolled out...
I wake up, wipe the crust out of my eyes..... get my life together and head down to the lobby of my cruise.
Time to checkout and pay $5 for the worst internet ever! My guide comes to get me and we go outside to a van PACKED full of people.. I don't like people 😭😭😭😭 and how are me and all my hips suppose to fit in there?!
I struggle my short legs into the front seat where there are already two men sitting, the one in the middle helps me up into the van.. bless his heart! He's the real MVP!
We drive to the Nile and get into these boats. They offer us tea and coffee and me being a morning person but a morning person that hates to interact or eat says no thank you!
I'm sitting taking everything in, there's this teen with a huge video camera with lights as bright as the sun taking video like we are on some reality tv show Egypt edition, bout to do some crazy challenge!
I kno I look like death becomes her, I haven't even put on my lipstick...
More and more people get into the boat and I see a BROTHAAA. Omg?!?!? I'm not the only black person that was willing to risk their life for a good picture!
We get off the boats and some little Egyptian kid comes down the line and says he needs to take my lunch and I allow him to take it as he already has some lunches in his hand .
We get into another van, packed like fat toes stuck into, toooooo small shoes . I'm thinking..Jesus where are we going?!? I just want to get on the damn balloon....
We arrive at this big open field and Mohamed our Captain demands we listen to him for instructions on how we should position ourselves when we need to land!
A child starts crying and screaming saying she doesn’t want to go. Lord!? Is she the only one with common sense here?! Is this it?! Am I gonna die in a hot air balloon accident?! How many accidents happen a year?! I didn't put my lipstick on!! Where is my lunch?! I'm hungry even tho it's 2:45am 😩😩
The brothaa comes and introduces himself to me, he has a thick accident and is from Chicago..before I could part my lips to say I'm from Seattle....
They separate us like Ceily and Netta from The Color Purple and demand I go the other way!!!!!!!
Noooooo God?!? nooooooo Whattttt?! how can you separate us!?! I need to be with my people!!! How can you separate the only brotha and sista?! Omg
They push us onto the basket and make us jump over the high sides 😩😩😩😩 you know my short chubby ass was struggling 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️ they had to push me over like an elephant 😩😩😩😩
They get us all in the basket again like sardines in a can... My inner voice is causing me to question how safe this balloon really is. How many people are allowed on and what the hell is the capacity of this ballon?!? I really believe we are at the limit!!!!!
The ballon starts to inflate and the men are pushing it out into the open court yard.. they start to say bye and I realize we're rising off the ground like Mary Poppins with the umbrella
We start to float over apartment buildings and In my mind I'm like ok theres still a chance we won't die if this thing drops out the sky. Mohamed can land it right on top of this apartment building and we can walk down the stairs to the ground..
We start to get higher and higher and I start to realized this is getting serious!!!!! 😩😩🤷🏽♀️😭 Then Mohamed announces that we are right in front of Hatshepsut temple. Yessssssssss! It's a sign!! we will be safe!! Hatshepsut is my girlllaaaa! She will hold me down! We like best friends in my head!!
We see the sun rise and some of the other temples. I do have to admit it was soooo gorgeous!!
It came time to land and Mohamed randomly tells us to turn the other way, away from the direction we are going, so that our backs are facing the opposite direction.
The Brazilians are soooooooooo lost in the sauce at this point.. not speaking English just as happy as ever still facing the wrong way.
Mohamed is yelling.......
SOMEBODY TELL THEM IN SPANISH TO TURN AROUND!!!!!
I don't remember any Spanish from high school but somebody actually physically turns them around and they finally get it!!
Yesssssss!!!!! Brazilian lives matter 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾!!
We land pretty gracefully and I'm still alive!!!!!
I spot a group of kids and I'm trying to figure out which of them conned me out of my sack lunch..
I know he needs the food more than I do!!!
I need to kno which one is Joanne the scammer Egypt edition....
Given the crazy experience, Egypt was one of my favorite solo trips to date! I highly recommend the hot air balloon ride!
The hot air balloon ride was booked thru the amazing tour company "Luxor For you"